We'll all be rooned - with apologies to PJ Hartigan

"We'll all be rooned", said Hockey Joe in accent so depressed
Outside the church with Phoney Tone and all the Murdoch Press
The Sunrise team stood all about and stoked the battler fears
And talked of mortgage rates and stress as they had done for years
"Its looking crook" said Chrissy Pyne, "This Government's a mess"
Ignoring all the good results, and spinning pure BS

"Its mighty hot" said Greg Combet, "Enough to melt the wax"
"It would be worse" said Penny Wong, "Without the Carbon Tax"
"This Climate Change is fully crap, there isn't any doubt"
"We'll all be rooned" said Hockey Joe, "Before the year is out"
The bankers all are crying out, "These times are pretty tough"
"Our profits risen 10 percent, it's nowhere near enough"

Poor Gina's dug another hole, for profits most obscene
While battlers all scratched their heads and watched the TV screen
"There won't be cuts, this budget year, because of Labor debt"
Said Barnaby from far St George, dressed up in flannelette
"We need some cuts, we need them now", said Andrew Robb, MP
"We'll all be rooned" said Hockey Joe, "Forget the GFC"

Then silence struck the thronging mob with one almighty jolt
While each one stopped to take a pause, except for Andrew Bolt
"Lets axe the tax, make Gonski gone, no disability"
"We'll privatise the SBS, we'll sell the ABC"
"It's not enough", said Phoney Tone, "We've got to stop the boats"
"We'll all be rooned" said Hockey Joe, "Before Australia votes"

In God's good time, elections came, the leadership was swapped
The world recovered from the mess, the dollar finally dropped
And exports all began to flow, like they had done before
While balance sheets across the land were looking good, once more
Taxation dollars flooded in till Canberra's hopes were buoyed
And every heart cried out for joy, except the unemployed

But imports cost a whole lot more, the battlers felt the squeeze,
No cheap computers, clothes and cars, or LCD TV's
While loud complaint was overheard in every coffee shop
"We'll all be rooned" said Hockey Joe, "If this damn boom don't stop"
In God's good time the boom did end and Hockey Joe was gone
Australia settled down again, to face a brand new dawn

And oh the smiles on every face, across this fairest land
Another generation lost to this, the everlasting scam
It doesn't matter who's in power, this world will run its course
Our masters serve a higher class, we just choose bad or worse
While fading barons manufacture crises, fear and doubt
"We'll all be rooned" said someone new, "Before this year is out"

Gina and the ATM – a cautionary tale

by Ken Davis

Poor Gina recently claimed the Australian Government was treating the mining sector like an ATM. She urged the resource sector to “stand up for itself”. Now initially I joined my more left leaning friends in condemning Gina. With others I accused her of using Australia's resources as her personal ATM.

Well Gina – I am sorry. I was wrong. You were r-r-r-r-right – in so many ways. More right than Andrew Bolt.

The Australian Government DOES use the resource sector as an ATM. The thing about ATM's is – you can only use them to withdraw what is yours. The resources of Australia belong to all Australians. The Government's job is to use those resources wisely and ensure that present and future Australians get a fair price for them. The problem for the government is that when it goes to the ATM to get some money for worthy causes, it finds they have been vandalised, or the money stolen. They find a gang of bleating, unwashed protesters screaming, “Mine, mine, mine” blocking their access. They find an army of reporters and advertising gurus armed with sharp pens threatening to undermine their government. Undermining is something they all do well.

Rather than standing on their own feet, the resource industry suckles at the welfare teat with overly generous benefits that are weighing down the country. Things like the accelerated depreciation and excessive research and development concessions. Or the diesel fuel rebate – which costs about $3.5 billion per year.

I am not ungrateful for the resource sector. My house has aluminium windows. My car is made of steel. My computer has all sorts of exotic minerals that make it work, most of the time. But having produced two children and been to a playgroup, I know something about infant behaviour. So when I see a noisy toddler screaming “mine, mine, mine”, I smile. I wait for the parent to step in and lecture about the reality of “things” and relationships. Advice about playing nicely. “You need to learn to share”. “People matter more than things”.

Most toddlers eventually grow out of their tantrums and learn to play nicely, but not without parental guidance and discipline. So Gina – it is time for the resource sector to grow up. It needs to stand on its own feet. Learn to walk. Stop throwing selfish temper tantrums. Play nicely, or when you grow up you won't have any friends. And step back from that ATM so the rest of Australia can get their money. There's plenty there for all of us.